First of all… clam shells. The Flintstones used clam shells as currency. Not pebbles. Clam shells. Pebbles was the name of their daugh- *deep breath*
The end of that episode really bummed me out, you know that? Really. Bummed me the hell out.
I mean, I get it. Craziness. Craziness happened to the opening of this season– Look, it happened here at the FDL too, I know how it is! And I understand, from the producers standpoint there needed to be a quick, clean strategy for getting things back to normal again… but come on. Just give it to us straight, man. This wasn’t a real show, was it? Hmmm? Was it now?
Brandon wasn’t a competitor. He was another Melanie. He was a one-time replacement, and that’s why he went home. Like Melanie went home. And that’s why he’s gonna be “allowed” to audition again. Because he wasn’t actually a competitor. He never had a chance.
*sigh* I guess, I’m sort of mad at myself here. I should have totally expected this from the show and accounted for it in my picks. I totally blew it.
But you know what made it feel so weird? To me at least. And a bit like adding insult to injury?… was having Russell down there too. Sure, Russell’s Fox Trot wasn’t technically great. He had that very “steppy” area of the piece… but it was nowhere near as painful to watch as that labored pretzel thing in Keven and Karen’s Cha Cha…
I thought there were several male doozers, actually.
But even if it was the night’s weakest piece of technical dancing, it was a great moment of dance. A guy who you’d never expect to dance that well in a style so foreign to him… holding his own the way he did? With a brand new partner? A world champion? What?! That’s never been “dance for your life” material on this show. Those are the kind of stories this show is built on… they fuel its pop appeal… its ratings!
And whether great “moments” should be rewarded over great “dance” is irrelevant here… Nigel has said it before, “this is a competition for America’s favorite dancer”, and that says to me he understands the value of a contestant like Russell.
So why make him dance for his life? Well it seems fairly obvious to me. Tell me if I’m crazy to think this. The judges put Russell in the bottom, not because they thought he deserved it… a guy who continues to defy their expectation, and who appears to have a huge growth potential… no, they put him there because they needed him there for one reason and one reason only…
so that we could see his solo.
So that we could judge it next to Brandon’s and say… “yup… Brandon needs to go,” and then the judges could say back to us, “yes, glad we all agree on that. Brandon, you’ll be leaving us tonight.” Nigel couldn’t have gotten that phrase out faster, huh?
Let’s imagine for a moment what it might have looked like, sounded like, if oh… I don’t know… Peter had been in the bottom. He was, after all, the other half of the dance that landed Ariana there. And I don’t know about you, but I didn’t see her dropping the ball that much more than he was. The piece, in general, wasn’t very strong.
So imagine him tapping for his life. With that strange floor mic that drowns out the music, a couple of toe hops (what are those called, again?), a split. How then might we have felt hearing…
- “Brandon, you will be leaving us tonight.”
- “Oh REEEEAAAALLLY???!!!”
- “BUUUUUUTTTTT… we’re gonna talk to Fox and see if MAYBE…. they’ll let you audition again next year.”
- “Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” *tears* *crowd* *applause*
Okay, this is a bit of an angry post, I admit. But again, I’m mostly just mad at myself…
…for believing in you Nigel.
Oh well, this Cave Man Dance should cheer me up.
The videos were found at machronicles.com, where you can see the rest of the dances from the evening. Check them out, and then tell me I’m a total conspiracy theorist.