My last post was pretty long, so I’m scaling back on this one…. I think. I mean, I’m only about 20 words in, so who knows.
I’m getting ready to cook myself a soup of some sort and I’m actually pretty excited. Today’s been a nice relaxing day. I woke up good and late, Skyped with my mom, went to the grocery store, came home… I plan on watching some History Channel via Netflix…
Okay, that sounds like a pretty boring day. What the hell, John? Where’s the pizazz?!
Hmm.
You know, I have to get something off my chest.
I’m worried that I’m not interesting enough for this blog anymore. I know that every time I go away for weeks and come back, I talk about how crazy I’ve been with work (and I have been). But deep down I think there’s a part of me that’s frankly getting worried that I’m running dry here.
I was actually talking to Steve Agee about this recently. He’d also taken a small departure from social media. Okay, small is a huge understatement. He deleted his nearly 1 million follower twitter account and went radio silent for weeks.
He’s getting back into the swing of it again, but he seemed to echo my very sentiment: I just don’t know what to say anymore.
And this may be a trap with blogging.
Okay, here’s how I feel (and any other bloggers out there, please let me know what you think of my theory?):
We first start blogging not necessarily because we have something to say… I mean we’re social animals, so we always have something to say, right? Blogging just serves us as a new outlet to get out the things that are in our heads. In my case, I began blogging around the time that I started really writing H+. I found that I had so many excess thoughts, and so it was a perfect way for me to release them.
A journal.
But then people start reading what you write, your subscriber base grows and you start to feel like these random pontifications on your life should probably be more than what you’re making them. More than just talking. They should be considered and crafted and spell checked.
So you start thinking about it every day. You come up with lists of ideas to write about. You scrutinize your own thoughts and opinions in your drafts.
And ultimately you forget about why you were even writing in the first place… and more importantly, HOW you were writing.
Okay… so currently 400 words. And as promised, I’m gonna cut this one off here. But I’d like to hear your thoughts on this, because I don’t want to believe I’m just suffering from social media burn out. That would indicate it’s all just been a playground… that the relationships I’ve made here don’t mean something deeper. And that’s just not true, because I genuinely miss you good people. I don’t know… maybe playgrounds aren’t such a bad thing. Kids sometimes develop long lasting friendships on the playground.
But I want to figure it out, because I’d like to get this blog back on track again. Maybe that does mean a bit of crafting. I know that things like Larks are something I can only do when I’m not spending 16 hour days trying to build a business. But I miss that stuff. I really do.
Recently, I decided to dedicate one day a week to this part of me. Like the whole day. Is that enough to figure this out? Not sure.
Damn, now I’m closing in on 600 words. So the next sentence is my last for this post, and perhaps it will help me figure out what to do next.
Tell me… why do you come to this blog?